See, my oldest sister (www.instagram.com/digitalyou.photography) was – and is – an incredibly talented artist, and the sketchbook was filled with these masterful pencil drawings.
Apparently, my classmates agreed. And that’s why – on the very same day I brought it in – I was asked to create the cover for our yearbook. GULP!
The theme for the yearbook was “Friends Forever” and, for some reason, I decided that Cappy, a cartoon cowboy, holding hands with his saddled horse was the right direction to take. I was wrong.
“Why didn’t you draw something like in your sketchbook?” It was a good question; one I was too ashamed to answer. The class went with a different picture for the cover. Obviously.
Last summer, I told my sister about this. We had a good laugh. Today, as I was getting packing supplies out of the closet for this mobile, I stumbled across that yearbook and it got me thinking again. I was good at many things as a kid, so why would I feel the need to pretend to be good at something I wasn’t?
I’m sure it was all the things that most kids want, consciously and unconsciously: to be seen, to be liked, to be affirmed. But as I reflected on it, I realized that what was really probably going on had a lot more to do with a lack of self acceptance.
When and how do those seeds get sown? How often do we look outside of ourselves for something we can never really know until we find it within? The love, the respect, the strength, the courage. All of it.
What’s one kind and affirming thing you can say about yourself to yourself right now? Acknowledging something you like in who you are, a quality you value; an observation about who you are that is unique and special – without qualifying, without focusing on the “yes, but.” Just a “Hi self, I really appreciate…”
Please do this, and share if you feel comfortable.